In my 7th month of reading in chamber :D
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
9:30 PM
My goodness.
I've been sleeping way too much today. Woke up at 1pm plus (say whaaaat?) with a major headache (am having flu) and my back is aching (time of the month).
But it's okay Alhamdulillah everything is bearable. Kalau tak pernah sakit tak tahu makna sihat kan? Just a reminder from God to appreciate the things we always take for granted perhaps :)
I am now under a lot of pressure, but it has nothing to do with workloads; in comparison to the previous months, I think my workload now is manageable hooray! :)
I am however, worried, about my future. My big boss has been calling me a few times wanting to talk about 'my future'. Wow. It's MY FUTURE ok. Like years ago, back in school, people keep on asking me to study 'to create a better foundation for my future'. And suddenly now the major decision has to be made.
And please, please, please do not say something like 'hey lepaklah you can kerja with your father apa'. I am thankful for that, but I am trying to make it on my own here. And InsyaAllah one day I will go back and help my father and make him happy. But that is not the option now.
I sorta know my field of interest already. It is challenging, and I have so, so, so much more to learn.
But should I choose this path, I need to sacrifice my time and part of my life. And I need to push myself as I can't afford to feel exhausted. Being the youngest and a wee bit spoilt (but not entirely, heh) I need to train myself to be more disciplined and stress-resistant (I think I cilok the term from some resume I read, LOL). I am very weak when it comes to not being able to spend so much time with my family. I am attached to them, very. The fact that my parents are living two and a half hours away from me does not make things easier (Hana & Maryam think again the next time you want to say im the girl who has everything). And one, one, one HUGE thing that is bothering me, and I pray to Allah swt, is for Him to grant me the patience, because the last thing I want is to have stress taking its toll on my life. I dont want to go home and not being able to smile to the people I love the most.
But Alhamdulillah my parents are being really supportive and asked me to pursue this. So are my friends. I am still young (ok 24 is not that young, fine). As for now, I am giving myself a 'yes' to take on this chance.
I may make the wrong decision (na'uzubillah la kan). I may leave the field after few years. But at least I try, kan? And I wish to gain as much knowledge as I could which I believe will help me to become a wiser person.
But, before that, I've so decided, that I'll be taking two months break (Ramadhan & Syawal) as I just want to spend some times with the family. I will also, in my attempt to be a good daughter, InsyaAllah, help my father in his office and gain some insight on how he's running his company. Fair enough, no? :)
Now. All I have to do is to pray to God to make things easier, to lead me to the right path, and to make me closer to Him in whatever I do. I am a Believer.
I've been sleeping way too much today. Woke up at 1pm plus (say whaaaat?) with a major headache (am having flu) and my back is aching (time of the month).
But it's okay Alhamdulillah everything is bearable. Kalau tak pernah sakit tak tahu makna sihat kan? Just a reminder from God to appreciate the things we always take for granted perhaps :)
I am now under a lot of pressure, but it has nothing to do with workloads; in comparison to the previous months, I think my workload now is manageable hooray! :)
I am however, worried, about my future. My big boss has been calling me a few times wanting to talk about 'my future'. Wow. It's MY FUTURE ok. Like years ago, back in school, people keep on asking me to study 'to create a better foundation for my future'. And suddenly now the major decision has to be made.
And please, please, please do not say something like 'hey lepaklah you can kerja with your father apa'. I am thankful for that, but I am trying to make it on my own here. And InsyaAllah one day I will go back and help my father and make him happy. But that is not the option now.
I sorta know my field of interest already. It is challenging, and I have so, so, so much more to learn.
But should I choose this path, I need to sacrifice my time and part of my life. And I need to push myself as I can't afford to feel exhausted. Being the youngest and a wee bit spoilt (but not entirely, heh) I need to train myself to be more disciplined and stress-resistant (I think I cilok the term from some resume I read, LOL). I am very weak when it comes to not being able to spend so much time with my family. I am attached to them, very. The fact that my parents are living two and a half hours away from me does not make things easier (Hana & Maryam think again the next time you want to say im the girl who has everything). And one, one, one HUGE thing that is bothering me, and I pray to Allah swt, is for Him to grant me the patience, because the last thing I want is to have stress taking its toll on my life. I dont want to go home and not being able to smile to the people I love the most.
But Alhamdulillah my parents are being really supportive and asked me to pursue this. So are my friends. I am still young (ok 24 is not that young, fine). As for now, I am giving myself a 'yes' to take on this chance.
I may make the wrong decision (na'uzubillah la kan). I may leave the field after few years. But at least I try, kan? And I wish to gain as much knowledge as I could which I believe will help me to become a wiser person.
But, before that, I've so decided, that I'll be taking two months break (Ramadhan & Syawal) as I just want to spend some times with the family. I will also, in my attempt to be a good daughter, InsyaAllah, help my father in his office and gain some insight on how he's running his company. Fair enough, no? :)
Now. All I have to do is to pray to God to make things easier, to lead me to the right path, and to make me closer to Him in whatever I do. I am a Believer.
